A friend wrote to me recently, asking how happy I was with my weight loss. At first glance, that should be a no-brainer question — of course I’m really happy — but on deeper reflection, what exactly am I pleased about? I wasn’t comfortable bragging about my achievement because I couldn’t actually explain what it is:-
Congratulations, I no longer stuff myself and eat to excess!
Congratulations, I spend 4% of my waking life exercising!
Big fucking deal.
Where is the achievement in those things? What is so amazing about doing things that millions of other people do every day? In 20 years time, when I’m still doing those things, will anyone care? No, they probably won’t, but that’s what makes this an achievement right now. The remarkable thing isn’t the magnitude of what you’re doing, it’s the magnitude of the change. If you’ve eaten healthily all your life then it isn’t impressive when you eat healthy again tomorrow, but if you’ve eaten crap all your life and then switch to a good diet, then that is.
There’s also something to be respected about discipline. Whilst eating healthily doesn’t deserve a medal, the discipline required does, when you’ve eaten 5000 calories/day for years. The greater the swing in change, the more impressive the discipline require to maintain it is. If you give up red meat for a month that’s pretty impressive, but not as impressive as the guy who goes raw-vegan for life. Time is a factor too: maintaining a change for a month is better than a day, but there will also be a point where the impressiveness decays over time as the behaviour becomes habitual;
I think there’s a societal aspect too. The greater your behaviour deviates from the social norm, the more impressive it. Stand up for women’s rights in the UK no one cares, do that in Saudi Arabia and you get shot. I don’t know how much society really affects losing weight, but certainly ours is all about fast/processed food and a sedentary lifestyle. It isn’t normal for people to go running in the park or train for half-marathons, so I personally find that that part of my story impressive in itself, without the context of my weight loss.
This has been an interesting post to write and think about. When I next see my friend I know what I’ll say: I’m proud of my achievement; I’ve made a big change in my lifestyle which has required deep self-reflection, education and discipline to maintain.
You know how much I like the “f” word and I enjoyed this post. I am impressed by you – not just the weight loss and your drive to meet your goals but also your ability to impress upon me the notion of thinking outside the box.
I still agree with my original comment. And I still think you are impressive. I do get where you are coming from. I have changed my outlook on some things, mainly out of necessity to forge forward.